anyway it seems to me, that you somehow feel that I'm trying to distance myself from you (i got this feeling many times befor, you know). because you come over and talk to me or my friends or whatever and you're trying to impress me once more. and even if I didn't stop dreaming of you it won't help. I stayed this last week, and it wasn't very easy. Now it's two weeks ago that i decided to do this, and I actually hadn't any doubt yet. Wou okay, today wasn't the best day. I'm very lazy and in a low mood... but I already have a plan. I'll take a shower now, and then I'll place myself in the garden with the history sheets and something to eat and drink. ^_^ I'm sort of motivated again, I dont know why. But I know, that this is the ONE AND ONLY way out of this misery. I know he's not anymore the right one, and that he won't ever be, and I also know there's no chance and no need to wait, so why should I? At the moment I feel more free than anything else. Of course I'm not completely free from him, but mainly I think I did it. It was important not to look back and to go through my project even when he talks to me ect. Now I think I can really make this. And so - "so ist das Leben eben, es muss Beben geben ab und zu! Noch eben standst du in der Sonne - uh, da kommt er Regen!" Tide is high but I'm holding on - YOU GONNA MISS ME WHEM I'M GONE!

25.5.08 15:04

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